Emo shit

One of those days

Goddamn, I’ve been missing.

Well, sadly I’m still alive. 

Remember that I was going to party? I did it and forgot about assignments. Surprise, huh? 

Okay, no, that’s not what I wanted to say. I actually don’t know what I want to say, if there’s something. Yes, there is. Okay, but it’s nothing new, for real. I came here just after going to Instagram and finding that B had posted a pic of her and one of her friends or should I say sister? 

Look at me being a rude bitch.

Anyways, it’s not like I’m hurt or crying because at this point even crying seems more useless that anything. It makes my head hurt and my eyes red. Besides, it was expected. 

Well, let’s go to the point.

I’m on my way to school. I had class at 11 am but I left my house at 12:30. Why? Because I’m that useless and don’t give three fucks. 

Today is one of those days when I just want to crawl into bed and stay there ’til the end of the world. When everything looks horrible and I don’t wanna face it. When even walking seems too hard and I kinda want to crawl my way out of life. When listening to music is the best thing and something you must do to keep yoir shit together.

Is this the definition of being unhappy or tired?

Maybe a bit of both. 

I’m so tired of this. And maybe that makes me unhappy. 

I hate feeling this way. I hate it so much. I wanna believe those cringey words people say, like “no matter what happens, smile”. I wanna smile and don’t feel like I’m falling apart day by day. I just wanna stop wanting to hide under my sheets for the whole day. I wanna care. 

When will I?


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